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8 - Amazon Athletic |
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04/06/07
Jocky Wilson Says... |
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I've never been much of a sports fan. I don't object to
the existence of sport per se, because it's
obviously very popular and relatively harmless (well,
with the exception of boxing, but that's a rant for
another day). But for some reason - maybe an
under-active sports gland or some similar affliction -
I've always found it tedious in the extreme.
Having said that, though, there are a few sports that do
manage to entertain me on occasion. Prominent among
these is darts. Darts, you see, is the ideal pub sport.
You only use one hand, so the other is free to hold your
drink. The pub association has meant that may of the top
darts players have been, to put it mildly, big guys. BDO
World Champion Andy Fordham, for example, weighed over
400 pounds when he claimed his title in 2004. Now, I'm
not saying we should follow his example: 400 pounds is
not an ideal weight unless you're nine feet tall. But on
the other hand, we live in a world populated by people
of all sizes, and I simply love the idea of a 400 pound
bloke being hailed as a master sportsman.
On a similar note, I quite like sumo. In fact sumo is
arguably better in this respect, as the wrestlers are
great sportsman because of, rather than in spite of,
their size. It always baffles me that sumo wrestling
originated in Japan, a country where there isn't a great
deal of variation in size. Buying clothes must be a
nightmare if you're a sumo wrestler.
My goal with all of this thinking is to combine these
two great traditions into something that will
revolutionise the drab world of sport. My creation will
be called Sumarts, taking the discipline and
sportsmanship of sumo and combining it with the pointy
objects and alcohol consumption of darts. Crowds will
marvel as two huge, semi-naked men wrestle each other in
a pub while simultaneously flinging darts at dartboards
on opposing walls. And sipping their pints. Wish me
luck. |
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I hate your blog. You
own a dog and you feed it. You post about it. I get to read it. |
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