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  30 - A Tiny Wee Problem  
  A Tiny Wee Problem  
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  20/08/07 When in Rome, Do as the Vandals Do...  
I'm a twenty-six year old man, making jokes about wee. Do you think my parents are proud of me?

Mind you, I'm not entirely uncultured. When I'm not being amused by bodily functions, I like to read about ancient civilisations, and I'm especially interested in pre-Roman Britain. The place that's been at the top of my must-visit list for some time is Skara Brae, a surprisingly well-preserved Neolithic settlement in the Orkney Islands. Now, I'll grant you that many ancient ruins are a little, shall we say, on the crappy side, but Skara Brae is something else. The houses are built from stone: most settlements of that era were made from wood, but Orkney has hardly any trees. The houses have indoor toilets and a sewage system. Yep, a sewage system. And these things were built in something like 3000 BC. The popular perception of pre-Roman Britons is that they were little more than cavemen, so I consider Skara Brae to be truly awesome stuff. And so, I was more than a little saddened when I heard about this. As if the graffiti thing wasn't bad enough, the chief suspect in the case is a fellow Liverpudlian. As if we weren't seen as uncultured enough already, here's another Scouser in the public eye, metaphorically weeing up against the side of civilisation. And it's only funny when cute animals wee up the side of things.

If you'd like to know more about Skara Brae, then Wikipedia have a fairly mediocre article on the subject. I was actually tempted to edit the article in order to make the part mentioning the vandalism seem less sanctimonious, but it's been my experience that trying to make Wikipedia less sanctimonious is a task akin to trying to edit the right-wing stuff out of Mein Kampf. My relationship with Wikipedia is the same as my relationship with public transport: I use it a lot, and it's a fantastic idea in principle, but it's often a frustrating experience, and the people in charge of it inspire thoughts of a brutal assault with an iron pan.

Anyway, more sophisticated humour on Friday, when I expect I'll have moved on from wee to the edgy topic of poo.
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© George Hutcheon 2007