Welcome, one and all, to my humble comic. I'm not very good at introductions, but that's okay, because since this is the very first comic, next to nobody will see this anyway, save for the unruly assortment of friends and acquaintances that have been press-ganged into coming here. Hello, friends and acquaintances! Please stay! It will get better, with jokes and everything.

Alternatively, maybe you're reading this post a year or so in the future, at which point I predict the comic's readership may reach double figures. Perhaps you were bored and decided to go back and see what I wrote in that very first news post. Hello, people of the future! Thank you from taking time out from driving your hovercar, wearing tinfoil and listening to your "virtual gramophone" to read this humble submission from the distant past. How's the Iran war working out for you? Ho ho, that was satire. I promise it won't happen again.

To everyone reading this, no matter what your time period, thanks for dropping by. If you'd like to comment on the comic, then please sign up for the forums. They're understandably sparse at the moment, but every community has to start small. In the immortal words of Melt-Banana that I read in their fan club email a few minutes ago, we are but "tiny, tiny beans in a huge frying pan". And I think we all know what they're talking about.